Two and Half Men - Reborn as Jake Harper

Chapter 142: Lunch

Chapter 140

It was morning when I got a message:

Scarlett: Hiii, I’m in L.A., want to have lunch?

Me: Helloo. Sure thing. Where?

Scarlett: There’s a restaurant I used to love when I lived here. We can go there. Nothing fancy though.

Me: I don’t mind. Want me to pick you up?

Scarlett: No need. We can meet there.

Me: Okay.

We chatted a bit more, and Scarlett sent me the address.

When I went to get breakfast, four people were already in the kitchen—Sam, Carly, Paige, and Missy. I greeted them all with a kiss on the cheek.

"Missy, you’re not grounded anymore?" I asked.

"Finally! It’s over. So unfair. You two only got grounded for three days."

"I got three. Jake didn’t even get a full day," Paige noted.

Missy scoffed. "Still, just three days, and you’re living in a mansion. At least switch Sheldon for Jake with me."

"Eww, no way. If I lived with Sheldon, I’d punch him in the face daily," Paige muttered.

"I couldn’t. Mom would always side with him," Missy grumbled. "But when he’s really annoying, I kick him in the nuts."

"How could you do that?" I blinked. "I know he won’t be using them anytime soon, but still—don’t mess with someone’s family jewels."

We all laughed.

Then Michelle, our chef, entered. "Morning."

"Morning," we echoed.

"Look what I’ve got," she said, holding up a giant lobster.

"Lobster again?" Paige lit up.

"Mama likes it," Sam exclaimed.

"Wait, you eat lobster regularly?" Missy asked, surprised—and slightly jealous. noveldrama

"Once or twice a week. Only because Jake doesn’t like it. Luckily, Aunt Judith has great taste and loves it," Paige explained.

Paige had gotten used to calling Judith "aunt." Even if her own mother wasn’t great, calling Judith "mom" would feel off.

"Don’t worry, Jake. I’ve got your Kobe beef," Michelle assured.

"Thanks, but save it for dinner. I’m not having lunch here today."

Michelle raised an eyebrow, then smiled. "Here," she said, laying out a spread of fresh pastries. "Straight from the bakery. I’ll let you girls gossip about Jake’s lunch plans." She winked and left.

The girls turned toward me.

"Are you going out with Milly again?" Carly asked.

"No. Uncle Charlie messed things up with her mom. She’s forbidden to see me," I answered, not too bothered.

"Is it Pip?" Sam guessed.

"No! She’s our friend, Sam."

"So? She looked really cute at Halloween. You wouldn’t go out with her?"

"I... would. But it’s not her. I didn’t even flirt with her."

"Yet," Sam muttered with a smirk.

"Is it the Marshmello girl?" Paige jumped in.

"No! We’re just friends. She doesn’t like me that way. Plus, she’s like you—a needy girl."

"Am I needy?!" Paige looked offended.

"So who is she?" Missy leaned forward, clearly fishing for gossip.

"A girl who’s friends with Jake. She was at the Halloween party," Paige said, trying to sound casual.

Missy glanced at Carly and Sam. Carly looked away; Sam didn’t react at all.

Those two... Carly can’t lie, and Paige isn’t much better.

"Fine, don’t tell me. I’m used to being left out."

"Low blow, Missy," I sighed. "Okay, I’ll tell you—but you have to keep it secret."

"I will. Must be juicy if no one’s talking."

"It’s very juicy," Paige teased.

"Okay, spill it," Missy said, eyes locked on me.

I picked up an apple, took a bite, chewed, and then casually revealed, "Britney Spears."

Missy’s eyes nearly popped out. "What??"

"Yes, Jake is friends with her," Paige confirmed with a smirk.

"The Britney Spears?"

"I don’t know any other—besides the one who sings Toxic," I shrugged.

"How??"

I took another bite, swallowed, and said, "Because I’m Marshmello."

"WHAT????"

I glanced at Paige. "Worth it! You all have funny reactions."

Paige gave me a light headbutt.

"What are you doing? You little Pokémon."

She started pinching me. I hugged her until she stopped.

Missy was still frozen. Sam stepped beside her.

"Yep, you broke her," she commented dryly.

"How could you all be so chill about it?" Missy asked, still stunned.

"Heh," Sam grunted.

"We knew since the beginning. So..." Carly added with a shrug.

Paige rested her head on my chest. "You live with him, you end up finding out he’s just a dork who sings really well."

I poked her cheek. She almost bit my finger. I flicked her forehead.

"Who are you dating today?" Paige asked.

"Her name is Scarlett Johansson. She’s the one who made Lost in Translation."

"Wow, she is so pretty. Now you’re dating actresses?" Missy exclaimed, recovering a bit.

"I don’t really care if she is an actress, I just don’t want to become too famous now. Besides, Scarlett doesn’t know I’m Marshmello."

"Would it be weird if I asked you for an autograph?" Missy asked shyly.

"I’ll do something better. I’ll give you a kit," I said, heading to my room.

I returned with a package containing a Marshmello CD, some little souvenirs, and an iPod.

"Is this the new iPod?" she said, looking at the box.

"Yes. It’s going to be officially released next week. Here, you need one of these to use it," I added, handing her a PowerBook G4, 667 MHz.

Jobs made the first generation of iPods compatible only with Macs. Even with the Marshmello special edition, the iPod will probably flop.

"I can’t take it," Missy said hesitantly. "It’s too expensive."

"Just take it," Paige cut in. "Jake’s buying cars for his friends anyway. This is nothing."

"What??"

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